28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage

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© Lee Wise All rights reserved

28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage
(Short Shots On Living An Exceptional Life)
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

In my opinion, these things matter...

1. Valuing commitment over instant pleasure and faithfulness
beyond short term displeasure.

2. Telling less than I feel for the purpose of learning
more than I know.

3. Choosing to have mutual conflict become the playing
field where we celebrate victory as opposed to the battle
field where the only winners are division and discord.

4. Delighting in the dream of another -- not necessarily
because I share the dream but because I'm in love with the
one who owns it.

5. Appreciating what I do well in the face of what the
other does better -- and doing so without downplaying
either.

6. Calling it a night before calling it off.

7. Reinforcing habits that heal and breaking habits that
make healing necessary.

8. Misplacing grudges more often and finding praises more
often than not.

9. Making honor a way of seeing,
10. Gratefulness a way of speaking,
11. Listening with the heart a way of hearing,
12. And responding in self-control a way of emoting.

13. Striving to win as a team instead of simply striving to
win.

14. Saying "I love you" more often -- without saying it.

15. Keeping a better score of what was done right than what
wasn't done "as right as I would like."

16. Misplacing "You should have" more and finding "I'm glad
you did" more often.

17. Developing and maintaining our own mutual admiration
society.

18. Helping when I can,
19. Stopping when I should,
20. And listening a whole lot in between.

21. Speaking truth without a hurtful agenda and laying aside
conflicting agendas for the sake of loving in truth.

22. Hating the word "betrayed" and choosing to join forces
in waging a war against all it represents.

23. Loving for all the relationship is worth -- because it
really is worth it all.

24. Working hard at words that work well instead of making
it hard because "working hard at the relationship" is not in
my vocabulary.

25. Realizing that forgiveness doesn't automatically make
everything right -- it simply creates a more solid
foundation for the remainder of the journey.

26. Learning how to laugh, cry, struggle, shout, pout,
fight, celebrate and rejoice as a couple that cares as
opposed to one that cares not at all.

27. Realizing there is no such thing as a "50/50"
relationship in marriage. It's a "110/110" deal. We give
our all -- and then some -- in order to make it all work
out.

28. Choosing to make laughter, encouragement, joy, and
mutual expressions of love permanent residents in our home
instead of guests we hope will some day arrive.

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"You can treasure many things.
You should treasure a few things.
There are two things you MUST treasure.
Treasure life. And treasure people."
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Joy

Knowing I am becoming the person I desire to become -- and doing so for all the right reasons.

Wisdom

Earning credibility
instead of
demanding compliance

Caring...

Saying "It doesn't matter" and meaning what I say.